With the holidays approaching many women/men find themselves facing the question “should I tell him/her what gift I want or wait to see what they get?” The fear of being terribly disappointed when someone who is supposed to know you and love you can’t come up with an appropriate present is real. Should we be content with “it’s the thought that counts” when we get a toaster for Christmas?
What can a person in this situation do to insure that they and their significant other have a happy holiday?
Friday, December 4, 2009
Do You Believe In Magic?
Our new topic of discussion is about "love at first sight." Do you believe in love at first sight? Does "love at first sight" actually mean that you can find your "true love...across a crowded room" just by seeing him/her, and fall in love without ever having met that person before? Is this possible? Do you know anyone who has fallen in love at first sight?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Red Flags
We're trying something new! This time we want YOU to do all the talking. The discussion is about "red flags." What is your definition of a "red flag"? Can you name the top 10? Should "red flags" be overlooked or taken as a warning to GET OUT of the relationship? We'd love to hear what you think!
Vote Results for Oliver
The votes are in and it looks like the majority feel that Oliver should just get over his old-fashioned values and talk to his girlfriend. Makes sense to me. It will be interesting to see what develops as time goes on. I'll keep you posted!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Last Day to Vote
Today is the last day to vote or leave comments about poor Oliver's dating dilemma.
Coming up next...we want to know what you think! We'd like you to share your knowledge, ideas and opinions about "red flags." So get on your thinking caps and get ready to brainstorm and discuss!
The "red flags" discussion will start on Friday, Nov. 13th, 2009 and thus far no end date has been set. We're just going to go with the flow.
Doting on Dating: www.dotingondating.blogspot.com
Coming up next...we want to know what you think! We'd like you to share your knowledge, ideas and opinions about "red flags." So get on your thinking caps and get ready to brainstorm and discuss!
The "red flags" discussion will start on Friday, Nov. 13th, 2009 and thus far no end date has been set. We're just going to go with the flow.
Doting on Dating: www.dotingondating.blogspot.com
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Split Decision for Freddie
The votes are in and the results are as follows:
* Keep Freddie (1 vote)
* Give him the boot (5 votes)
* Try to get him to change (2 votes)
* Ignore his behavior (2 Votes)
I'm glad to say that my girlfriend and Freddie are talking and working things out. We all have our little quirks and making a relationship work takes time and effort. I like the analogy that a relationship is like a garden, sometimes it needs a little weeding.
I think the biggest factor in making a relationship work is communication. I do believe that most people don't want to hurt or upset others. Sometimes they don't realize that their behavior is upsetting someone else. That is why it is important to tell others how we feel when we are upset about something they said or did. We have to use "I" messages, not "You" messages. Own your feelings and share them.
* Keep Freddie (1 vote)
* Give him the boot (5 votes)
* Try to get him to change (2 votes)
* Ignore his behavior (2 Votes)
I'm glad to say that my girlfriend and Freddie are talking and working things out. We all have our little quirks and making a relationship work takes time and effort. I like the analogy that a relationship is like a garden, sometimes it needs a little weeding.
I think the biggest factor in making a relationship work is communication. I do believe that most people don't want to hurt or upset others. Sometimes they don't realize that their behavior is upsetting someone else. That is why it is important to tell others how we feel when we are upset about something they said or did. We have to use "I" messages, not "You" messages. Own your feelings and share them.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"Old Fashioned Values" Can't Afford $4 Drinks
Here is a dating dilemma that you don't hear about every day. I suppose that's because there are so few men out there who still have old fashioned values or act like gentlemen when it comes to dating. We will refer to this man as Oliver..."Old Fashioned Oliver".
Oliver is in his mid 40's and divorced. He is the kind of guy who compliments you on how you look or how your house looks. He never comes empty handed to a party and offers to help out in any way he can. If he sees a woman carrying something heavy he carries it for her. Like I said, he's a real gentleman...good looking too!
Oliver had been dating a woman for close to 10 years but it wasn't going anywhere so they broke up about a year or so ago. He has a home in town and a cabin at a lake. He enjoys fishing and relaxing at his cabin and has been looking for someone to share this with.
Although Oliver gets out and about he hadn't really been dating anyone since his break-up. He was taking his time and looking for Miss Right.
About 4 months ago Oliver met a woman and they have been inseparable ever since. We will call her Miss Right. Miss Right is a few years younger than Oliver, very attractive, vivacious and fun to be with. She is very popular and loves to go out. So Oliver and Miss Right have been spending all of their time together hanging out at the cabin on weekends and going out in town during the week. The only problem is that Oliver has a job and Miss Right doesn't. Miss Right still lives with her parents.
Poor Oliver looks exhausted all the time and has lost weight...but he's happy. Well, he was happy until recently when he got the news that his work hours were going to be cut back from 40 hours a week to 30. Now Oliver is a frugal (not cheap) man and this news was a real blow.
Because Oliver is old fashioned he feels that the man should pay the tab when he is out with a woman. This presents a problem when you are going out four or five nights a week and your girlfriend likes the drinks that cost $4. He tried suggesting that they go out for "dollar draft" night and they did, but Miss Right ordered the imported bottles of beer which cost $4.
Oliver is in quite a dilemma. Because he is old fashioned he cannot bring himself to ask her to order cheaper drinks or to stay home more often. It's not so much that he is afraid that she will break up with him...it's about being a gentleman. He feels that as a man he should be able to give her the things she wants.
You may be thinking, "What kind of a ditz is this woman? Doesn't she know that his hours were cut back? Isn't she considerate of the fact that he is a working man and money doesn't grow on trees?" Well, she is aware of the fact that his hours were cut back. That is all I can tell you.
So, Oliver is still taking her out whenever she wants to go out and paying for her $4 drinks and looks even more ragged than before.
Any suggestions? How do you tell a guy with old fashioned values to stop being old fashioned when it's his nature? What can you suggest to him other than for him to be up front and tell her? Are there any other alternatives other than breaking up with her?
Oliver is in his mid 40's and divorced. He is the kind of guy who compliments you on how you look or how your house looks. He never comes empty handed to a party and offers to help out in any way he can. If he sees a woman carrying something heavy he carries it for her. Like I said, he's a real gentleman...good looking too!
Oliver had been dating a woman for close to 10 years but it wasn't going anywhere so they broke up about a year or so ago. He has a home in town and a cabin at a lake. He enjoys fishing and relaxing at his cabin and has been looking for someone to share this with.
Although Oliver gets out and about he hadn't really been dating anyone since his break-up. He was taking his time and looking for Miss Right.
About 4 months ago Oliver met a woman and they have been inseparable ever since. We will call her Miss Right. Miss Right is a few years younger than Oliver, very attractive, vivacious and fun to be with. She is very popular and loves to go out. So Oliver and Miss Right have been spending all of their time together hanging out at the cabin on weekends and going out in town during the week. The only problem is that Oliver has a job and Miss Right doesn't. Miss Right still lives with her parents.
Poor Oliver looks exhausted all the time and has lost weight...but he's happy. Well, he was happy until recently when he got the news that his work hours were going to be cut back from 40 hours a week to 30. Now Oliver is a frugal (not cheap) man and this news was a real blow.
Because Oliver is old fashioned he feels that the man should pay the tab when he is out with a woman. This presents a problem when you are going out four or five nights a week and your girlfriend likes the drinks that cost $4. He tried suggesting that they go out for "dollar draft" night and they did, but Miss Right ordered the imported bottles of beer which cost $4.
Oliver is in quite a dilemma. Because he is old fashioned he cannot bring himself to ask her to order cheaper drinks or to stay home more often. It's not so much that he is afraid that she will break up with him...it's about being a gentleman. He feels that as a man he should be able to give her the things she wants.
You may be thinking, "What kind of a ditz is this woman? Doesn't she know that his hours were cut back? Isn't she considerate of the fact that he is a working man and money doesn't grow on trees?" Well, she is aware of the fact that his hours were cut back. That is all I can tell you.
So, Oliver is still taking her out whenever she wants to go out and paying for her $4 drinks and looks even more ragged than before.
Any suggestions? How do you tell a guy with old fashioned values to stop being old fashioned when it's his nature? What can you suggest to him other than for him to be up front and tell her? Are there any other alternatives other than breaking up with her?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Freddie the Football Fan
Now, first of all, let's not judge Freddie by his name. After all, it's just a fake name; but it's not a fake story.
I was talking to a girlfriend about a month ago and she was lamenting over a recent development in her relationship with her boyfriend. They started dating about 8 months ago and things had been going fine...well, until football season started.
About a month ago they were watching a late night football game and she fell asleep. When she woke up, still on the sofa, at 2AM, he was gone. That's right...gone from the sofa, gone from the house. Now, earlier that day they had talked about going out after the game and she had said that she would like that. In fact, when they started watching the game she told him if she fell asleep to wake her up when it was time to go out.
She wasn't alarmed that he was not there. She figured that he probably went out to his local watering hole to talk about the game....or in this case, brag about his team winning the game. She went to bed, somewhat upset, and didn't awake until he came home at 4AM.
This was something they subsequently discussed...problem resolved. He would not do that again.
Last week they were watching one of the games on Sunday. This time it was his team playing against hers. His son, who is in his late teens, was there. Throughout the game Freddie yelled and cheered when his team scored or played well defensively, and griped and complained when her team scored or a call was made against his team. She didn't say anything about his poor sportsmanship or immature behavior because she didn't want to start something in front of his son.
When the game was over, and his team had lost (due to a bad call, in his opinion), he went outside. She figured he was just going out to blow off steam. After about 20 minutes she wondered where he had gone and she and his son went looking for him outside. He was nowhere to be found. A while later he showed up and said that he went to the store for cigarettes (although he had plenty). He had also told his friends that he would see them at the bar after the game, but after his team lost he decided not to go.
Question...is this just poor behavior on the part of a sore loser or does it go deeper than that? Should these behaviors be a determining factor in whether or not to continue the relationship?
I was talking to a girlfriend about a month ago and she was lamenting over a recent development in her relationship with her boyfriend. They started dating about 8 months ago and things had been going fine...well, until football season started.
About a month ago they were watching a late night football game and she fell asleep. When she woke up, still on the sofa, at 2AM, he was gone. That's right...gone from the sofa, gone from the house. Now, earlier that day they had talked about going out after the game and she had said that she would like that. In fact, when they started watching the game she told him if she fell asleep to wake her up when it was time to go out.
She wasn't alarmed that he was not there. She figured that he probably went out to his local watering hole to talk about the game....or in this case, brag about his team winning the game. She went to bed, somewhat upset, and didn't awake until he came home at 4AM.
This was something they subsequently discussed...problem resolved. He would not do that again.
Last week they were watching one of the games on Sunday. This time it was his team playing against hers. His son, who is in his late teens, was there. Throughout the game Freddie yelled and cheered when his team scored or played well defensively, and griped and complained when her team scored or a call was made against his team. She didn't say anything about his poor sportsmanship or immature behavior because she didn't want to start something in front of his son.
When the game was over, and his team had lost (due to a bad call, in his opinion), he went outside. She figured he was just going out to blow off steam. After about 20 minutes she wondered where he had gone and she and his son went looking for him outside. He was nowhere to be found. A while later he showed up and said that he went to the store for cigarettes (although he had plenty). He had also told his friends that he would see them at the bar after the game, but after his team lost he decided not to go.
Question...is this just poor behavior on the part of a sore loser or does it go deeper than that? Should these behaviors be a determining factor in whether or not to continue the relationship?
Welcome!
I've finally gotten around to creating a blog. You're never too old to learn something new!
The purpose of my blog is to share and discuss experiences, ideas and opinions about dating and relationships. I know a lot of you out there are going through the dating process. Whether you're just getting started or have been there and are now back, it can be a frustrating and downright scary experience!
I had been away from the dating scene for 25 years and after my divorce found myself back in the dating world and scared to death! It's just not like it used to be. Online dating is promoted as a great way to meet your soul mate. If you have tried online dating you already know that it's not as easy as they make it sound. Finding a way to meet singles in the real world is not any easier; especially when you are 50+...the pickings are slim to say the least!
Please feel free to post any experiences (funny or serious), ideas, opinions or concerns about dating and relationships here! It's called "girl talk" but we're always happy to hear things from a guys point of view.
Thanks,
Annie
The purpose of my blog is to share and discuss experiences, ideas and opinions about dating and relationships. I know a lot of you out there are going through the dating process. Whether you're just getting started or have been there and are now back, it can be a frustrating and downright scary experience!
I had been away from the dating scene for 25 years and after my divorce found myself back in the dating world and scared to death! It's just not like it used to be. Online dating is promoted as a great way to meet your soul mate. If you have tried online dating you already know that it's not as easy as they make it sound. Finding a way to meet singles in the real world is not any easier; especially when you are 50+...the pickings are slim to say the least!
Please feel free to post any experiences (funny or serious), ideas, opinions or concerns about dating and relationships here! It's called "girl talk" but we're always happy to hear things from a guys point of view.
Thanks,
Annie
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